Dangerzone 50: Results
It was the biggest Dangerzone to date in the T.W.O. The anniversary episode of Dangerzone 50.
To start off the night on a good foot, Father Athos came out to the ring to give an opening prayer.
Father Athos: I have been with the T.W.O. for a couple of years now and even though I am retired from active competition, it is with great honor that I come before you once again, on this blessed occasion, the 50th episode of T.W.O. Dangerzone. As we all saw 2 weeks ago at Dangerzone 49, Mr. Malicious was seriously hurt in a wrestling stunt gone wrong. I come before you now in prayer in the hopes that on this joyous occasion no other performer is seriously injured. I ask now that everyone cross their hands, bow their head, kneel on the ground, lean forward until your face touches the ground, stick out your tongue, lick the dirt and repeat after me. "Oh this wonderful tasting ground that I lick, may you not injure any wrestlers tonight. May you be forgiving, yet firm, so that no wrestler who is dropped on his head shall receive a broken neck, so that no wrestler who falls on his back shall breaketh that back, and that no wrestler who pivots awkwardly on his leg shall teareth any vital tissues of that leg. Please ground, do not injure any wrestler tonight, for he who hath layith downith the sod to create thou, may also taketh awayeth that sod and maketh you intoith at parkinglotith. In the name of Father Athos we pray. T.W.O. Rulz!" With that said, lets start the bloodbath.
Our first match was an unscheduled match between Arabian Pimpman and Nymphous Fornicate.
Arabian Pimpman vs. Nymphous Fornicate
Apparently before the show, Nymphous Fornicate tried to buy some hoes from Pimpman but was unsatisfied with their performance. Fornicate asked for a refund but Pimpman would not give him one. They began to fight backstage but were pulled apart and told that if they wanted to settle things, they should do it in the ring.
As the first match of the anniversary episode of Dangerzone 50, Arabian Pimpman and Nymphous fornicate came out to the ring ready for action. Pimpman's head hoe Sugar Kooky and his Tag Team Partner Crack-Edd accompanied Pimpman to the ring.
The match began, and with Pimpman's support at ringside it appeared as though Fornicate didn't stand a chance at winning. After a couple minutes of brawling, Pimpman pushed Fornicate backwards, outside of the ring, right in front of Sugar Kooky and Crack-Edd. "I see what this is, this was a setup!" Fornicate stood up and yelled at Pimpman and his cohorts. "You think you can screw me out of my money and then intimidate me with your 'gang'?"
Pimpman: No, that's not it at all. They just like to wish me luck while I'm wrestling.
Fornicate: Yeah right, I see what's going on here! This was a setup from the beginning! You know you can't beat me one-on-one so you've brought backup! Well, I've brought back-up too!
Nymphous Fornicate pulled a knife out of his pocket, grabbed Sugar Kooky and held the knife up to her throat.
Fornicate: If anyone comes near me I'm going to cut her throat!
Pimpman: NO! Please, let her go! I'll give you that refund!
Crack-Edd: I'll give you some pills that will calm you right down!
Fornicate: NO! I'm taking her with me and if you wish to see her again you're going to have to start showing me some respect! Nobody shows me any respect! Everyone here is stepping on Nymphous Fornicate! Well, I've had enough of it!
Nymphous Fornicate backed away from the ring with Sugar Kooky in his grasp.
Fornicate: Don't fight me sweetheart or you'll regret it!
Nymphous Fornicate and Sugar Kooky disappeared into the backstage area while Crack-Edd and Arabian Pimpman stood in the ring with shocked looks on their faces. T.W.O. officials rushed to figure out what was going on but refused to follow Fornicate backstage in fear that he might hurt Sugar Kooky.
The T.W.O. interviewer Mr. Czasak talked with T.W.O. CEO and World Heavyweight Champion Paramecium. He asked Paramecium about the Nymphous Fornicate situation, Mr. Malicious' status at the hospital, and about Paramecium's World Title defense against Kamikaze.
Paramecium told Mr. Czasak that he did not have time right now to deal with Nymphous Fornicate and if Arabian Pimpman planned on getting Sugar Kooky back he should go about getting her back by any means necessary.
Paramecium then said that Mr. Malicious is in stable condition. After being resuscitated following Dangerzone 49, doctors were able to run some tests and it appears as though Mr. Malicious will make a full recovery in due time. Luckily he was wearing the mask when Stratus cracked him in the head with the hatchet at Dangerzone 49, and it was that protective mask that saved his life. Paramecium then encouraged fans to send their support to Mr. Malicious and wish him a speedy recovery.
Paramecium then spoke about the World Title defense tonight against Kamikaze. He said that Kamikaze recently returned from surgery against doctors orders to fight for the World Title tonight. Paramecium said that Kamikaze's injury was sustained at Extravaganza III when Paramecium defeated Kamikaze to regain the World Title and Kamikaze has blamed Paramecium for that injury ever since. Even though Kamikaze may not be fit to wrestle tonight, Paramecium has granted the match and can't wait to get in the ring and kick Kamikaze's ass once again.
Paramecium then wished everyone well tonight in the hopes that it will be a safe celebration of Dangerzone's 50th episode.
[The Jobber Championship]
The next match of the evening saw Gus "the Annihilator" take on T.W.O. Jobber Champion Midnight Lightning. Gus hasn't had much luck in the T.W.O. as of late and losing this match would definitely be a humiliating experience. Midnight Lightning, on the other hand, didn't seem to realize where he was most of the time.
In the end Gus "the Annihilator" came out victorious and the Jobber Championship remained around the waist of Midnight Lightning.
T.W.O. Interviewer Mr. Czasak talks with Arachnid.
Interviewer: Arachnid, tonight you have been given a Title shot at T.W.O. HaRdCoRe Champion Scott Thunder, what do you give your odds?
Arachnid: I think my odds are damn good. I'm a former HaRdCoRe and Tag Team Champion and now that I'm not being held back by the Hell's Faction anymore, I can show the world that Arachnid can still kick ass and win Championships.
Interviewer: What is your current affiliation with Paramecium and your former Hell's Faction partner Spaz?
Arachnid: Those guys have been good to me, encouraging me to leave Hell's Faction and realize that I am better off without those guys, but I've told Paramecium also that I am not looking to join another group. I don't plan on being the third member of Paramecium, Spaz and Arachnid. I'm blazing my own trail now without anyone's help, as I did when I first joined the T.W.O. in 1999.
Interviewer: Good luck to you Arachnid. With your newfound initiative you will have only success in your future.
This next match saw 2 former Lightheavyweight Champions who haven't wrestled very often in recent weeks, receive a shot at current T.W.O. Lightheavyweight Champion Spaz. It was almost as though different era Champions were coming together in this once-in-a-lifetime matchup at Dangerzone 50. 'Cunning' Chris held the Lightheavyweight Championship for much of 1997 and 1999. Bad Boy Barrett or Triple B held the Title for most of 1998. Now was their chance to make T.W.O. history by toppling the up-and-coming Spaz.
The match started off with a bang! No tag's were needed in this T.W.O. Triangle match as all 3 competitors waged war in the ring. Bad Boy Barrett was in rare form as he Frankenstiened Spaz, but as soon as Barrett got back on his feet, he too was Frankenstiened by 'Cunning' Chris. All 3 Superstars frequented the fence, leaping off at their opponents with reckless abandon.
In the end, Spaz gained the pinfall victory when he dropped Bad Boy Barrett face first on the Lightheavyweight Championship belt and covered him for the 1-2-3.
Arabian Pimpman announced that Nymphous Fornicate had disappeared with Sugar Kooky and that he and Crack-Edd would do whatever it took to get her back. Pimpman also offered a reward for any information that would lead to the safe return of Sugar Kooky.
[Ceiling-Tile Tag Match]
The Acronyms (PAB & DMS) were looking for retribution on The Thuggas (Natas & Blaze). In their debut match at Dangerzone 47 The Thuggas defeated T.W.O. veterans PAB & DMS. The Acronyms considered this an upset and challenged The Thuggas to a Ceiling-Tile Tag Match (The Acronym's specialty) at the Dangerzone 50 anniversary episode.
Not only were countless ceiling tiles used as weapons, DMS also brought in the ladder. It looked as though all 4 Superstars were getting ravaged in this matchup and many thought someone's career might be shortened.
In the end, The Acronyms (PAB & DMS) proved why they are considered the masters of the Ceiling Tile Match as they knocked out both Thuggas and gained the double-pinfall victory.
Kamikaze talked about his upcoming World Title Shot at Paramecium. He said that Paramecium and he had a heated rivalry in the past and tonight would be his opportunity to regain the World Heavyweight Championship from the T.W.O.'s tyrant leader Paramecium. "Dangerzone 50," Kamikaze said, "will mark a new day for the T.W.O."
This HaRdCoRe Championship match would be Arachnid's chance at regaining the success he once had in singles competition.
In one of the most brutal encounters in recent memory, Scott Thunder and Arachnid put on one of the most grueling hard-fought matches of their careers.
After 15 minutes of nonstop action, Hell's Faction members Sinsyde and Draco came out to ringside. The action in the ring stopped.
Thunder: What are you guys doing here?
Arachnid: Can't you just leave us alone?
Sinsyde: I'm here to see how my former member is holding up in singles competition.
Arachnid: I want nothing to do with you guys anymore and I would appreciate it if you would just stay out of my business and get a life.
Sinsyde: We only want what's best for you Arachnid.
Thunder: That's crap and you know it.
Just then Nymphous Fornicate ran out from behind Scott Thunder and Arachnid. Neither of the 2 saw him coming. Fornicate clobbered Scott Thunder in the back of the head with a steel chair and Thunder fell to the ground. Thunder tried to get back up but Nymphous Fornicate repeatedly cracked him with the steel chair until Thunder had nothing left.
Sinsyde: Now Arachnid, while Scott Thunder is down. Pin him and regain the HaRdCoRe Championship.
Arachnid: No, I will not win it this way. I don't want my matches tarnished with outside interference. If I'm going to win a Championship I am going to do it on my own.
Sinsyde: What is wrong with you? You've complained that we've been holding you back all this time, now we are giving you what you've always wanted. Why won't you take it?
Arachnid: Don't you see? You're still holding me back! You refuse to let one of your Hell's Faction members succeed on their own! You're sick!
Sinsyde: If this is what you wish, then so be it!
Nymphous Fornicate laid Arachnid out with the steel chair as well. Sinsyde rolled over Scott Thunder so that Thunder was covering Arachnid for the 3 count. Scott Thunder was declared the winner and still T.W.O. HaRdCoRe Champion.
Then Arabian Pimpman and Crack-Edd came running down to ringside. They demanded to know what has happened to Sugar Kooky.
Sinsyde told them that Sugar Kooky had been sacrificed to Hell's Faction as payment for Nymphous Fornicates membership. We then realized that Nymphous Fornicate was wearing the signature Hell's Faction face paint. Sinsyde told Pimpman and Crack-Edd that there was nothing they could do to get her back so they'd better forget about it.
Pimpman and Crack-Edd charged the ring with the intent of taking down the Hell's Faction, but Sinsyde, Draco and Nymphous Fornicate were too much for them.
The Hell's Faction walked off into the backstage area while the aftermath of their attack was cleared out of the ring.
The T.W.O. Interviewer caught up with 'Cunning' Chris.
Interviewer: Earlier tonight you lost the Triangle Lightheavyweight Match against Spaz and Triple B, what are your plans now pertaining to the Lightheavyweight Title.
'Cunning' Chris: Did you actually watch that match? I didn't lose the match. Triple B lost the match. Spaz pinned Bad Boy Barrett not me. Had Barrett not been such a crappie wrestler I would have won that match. In the future I will get the Title shot I deserve and then I will become the first ever 3-time T.W.O. Lightheavyweight Champion.
It was the match we never thought we'd see again, the Gun-in-the-Tree Match. It was Army Dude who shot Wrestling Enforcer in the crotch during the last Gun-in-the-Tree Match at Extravaganza III and afterward the Gun was outlawed in the T.W.O. Now Army Dude, Wrestling Enforcer, and Superbman agreed to a non-sanctioned Triangle Gun-in-the-Tree match at the anniversary Dangerzone, episode 50.
The rules in this match are simple. Get the gun out of the tree and use it to shoot one of your opponents. The person shot is the loser, and the person doing the shooting is the winner.
When the match made it's way over to the tree all 3 wrestlers realized that there was no ladder to climb the tree with. Army Dude started straddling the tree and attempted to shimmy his way up the massive trunk. Wrestling Enforcer tried blowing really hard toward the gun, hoping that he could blow it off the branch and down to the ground. Superbman on the other hand, used his heat vision to burn the branch of the tree.
The branch broke halfway and swung backwards, smacking Army Dude across the head and knocking him out of the tree. Wrestling Enforcer saw the gun land on the ground nearby and ran toward it. Superbman used his laser vision again to heat the gun until it glowed a bright orange color. When Enforcer picked up the gun it burnt his hand and he threw the gun into the air.
As the gun was falling to the ground, Superbman ran toward it with his superb-speed and jumped at it with outstretched arms. As Superbman grasped the gun, he inadvertently pulled the trigger and shot himself in the chest.
Because of Superbman's bullet wound, Wrestling Enforcer's burnt hand, and Army Dude laying unconscious next to the tree, the referee ruled that the match was over. He declared Superbman the winner and loser of the match as he was the one to shoot someone with the gun and the person who got shot.
EMT's came out to place Superbman on the stretcher and wheel him out of the backyard. As they were doing so Superbman yelled out, "It's only a matter of time before my superb-healing powers repair the bullet wound and then I will be back in action!"
Wrestling Enforcer and Army Dude were also tended to by EMT's.
Nymphous Fornicate was seen talking to Natas & Blaze, telling them what a good idea it would be to join the Hell's Faction. "There," he said, "they would get the respect and companionship that they needed to succeed in the T.W.O."
Just then Scott Thunder, Arachnid, Arabian Pimpman and Crack-Edd charged into the room and attacked Nymphous Fornicate, Natas, and Blaze. After the attack Arabian Pimpman demanded that Nymphous Fornicate tell him where he was holding Sugar Kooky. Fornicate claimed he didn't know and said that Sinsyde had her now. Pimpman and Crack-Edd left to find Sugar Kooky.
Scott Thunder then told Nymphous Fornicate never to attack him again, and challenged him to a match at Redemption 2002. Arachnid then told Natas & Blaze if they were considering joining the Hell's Faction, he would beat some sense into both of them in a Handicapped Match at Redemption 2002.
It was later announced that these 2 matches had been signed for Redemption 2002.
[Tag Team Championships]
After winning the Tag Team Challenge at Dangerzone 49, Sinsyde & Draco earned the Tag Team Title shot at Dangerzone 50 against the Champions Lestat & Santino.
This match turned out to be an excellent affair as all participants have had much experience in Tag Team wrestling and are considered by many to be the 2 current top tag teams in the T.W.O.
It wasn't long before Arabian Pimpman and Crack-Edd came out to ringside demanding to know where Sugar Kooky was. T.W.O. officials held them back from interfearing in the match, but Sinsyde and Draco were obviously somewhat distracted by their presence.
It looked as though Lestat and Santino would retain their Tag Team Championships. From the other direction, Natas & Blaze charged out to the ring and attacked Lestat & Santino. More officials ran out from the back to restore order.
Arachnid charged the ring, took down Natas, and began beating him senseless. Blaze grabbed a chair and cracked Arachnid in the head. Arachnid wouldn't stop. Blaze hit him again, then Scott Thunder came out of nowhere and cracked Blaze in the face with the Singapore Cain.
As Pimpman and Crack-Edd fought their way through officials toward the ring, Nymphous Fornicate came out from the entranceway holding Sugar Kooky. Pimpman and Crack-Edd saw Fornicate and began fighting through officials away from officials toward the entrance. The officials where able to hold back Pimpman and Crack-Edd long enough to give Fornicate a head start, but soon Pimpman and Crack-Edd broke through and charged into the back after Nymphous Fornicate.
Referee's in the ring attempted to restore order, pulling apart all Superstars who did not belong in the ring. Somewhere in the mayhem Sinsyde was able to gain a pinfall victory over Tag Champion Santino. All in attendance looked on in disbelief as Sinsyde and Draco of Hell's Faction were proclaimed new T.W.O. Tag Team Champions.
[Mr. Malicious' Hospital Room]
Stratus entered Mr. Malicious' hospital room.
Mr. Malicious: What are you doing here? Come here to finish me off?
Stratus: No, I came to apologize. I didn't mean to hit you with the hatchet.
Mr. Malicious: You aren't forgiven! You almost killed me and I will never forgive or forget what you did!
Stratus: I brought you some flowers and porno magazines.
Mr. Malicious: We aren't friends anymore and we never will be again! GET OUT AND DON'T COME BACK!!!
Stratus: NO! I won't leave until we talk about this!
Just then a doctor came into the room.
Doctor: I'm afraid that you are irritating my patient and you must leave now.
Stratus: I'm not leaving!
Just then Stryknieghn came charging into the room and tackled Stratus to the floor. Stryknieghn grabbed Malicious' bedpan and cracked it across Stratus' head.
Mr. Malicious: GET HIM! BEAT HIM DOWN!
Stryknieghn continued the assault as Mr. Malicious yelled derogatory comments at Stratus. Finally the real hospital security came into the room and broke up the fight. As Stryknieghn was carried out of the room he yelled at Stratus telling him he would finish kicking his ass at the Redemption PPV. As Stratus was carried out, it appeared as though he was more hurt by Mr. Malicious' hatred for him then from Stryknieghn's attack.
[World Heavyweight Championship]
It was probably the biggest main event to date for Dangerzone, the rematch from Extravaganza III.
Paramecium had been standing proud as World Champion since their last match, defeating all challengers, but Kamikaze felt that he could bring Paramecium's reign to an end.
In the end, Paramecium gained a rare submission by Kamikaze as his leg couldn't take anymore punishment. Paramecium walked away proving once again why he is the T.W.O. World Heavyweight Champion.
After the match it was announced that the Main Event of Redemption 2002 would be the highest stakes Championship Matchup in T.W.O. history as the Lightheavyweight Championship, Tag Team Championships and World Heavyweight Championships would be on the line in a Multiple-Belt-in-the-Tree Match. Paramecium and Spaz would take on Sinsyde and Draco in this anything goes high stakes matchup. To win a respective belt one must pull that belt out of the tree. Any of the 4 competitors could win any of the 4 belts. This means that anything could happen at Redemption 2002.